I finally got all the write Javascript/permissions/etc crap set to allow me to successfully complete the religion selector. Amazingly enough, I arrive at:

1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Nontheist (88%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (88%)

What? Where did that Unitarian thing come from? Are they an atheistic church? What gives? My real theory is that if you peg hard enough as a materialist along the materialist/duallist continuum that all the other discriminants reduce to singularities.