(And now, a brief message from Laurence Simon of Amish Tech Support, who is appearing here as part of the Amish Tech Support 2003 Blog A Day Tour.)

I really don't have much of important to say today on the Tour. I don't even have anything overly hateful to say on this Full Of Hate site.

I do want to talk about a party, however.

We went to the birthday party of a friend's 4 year-old yesterday where Spider Man was the theme. My wife pronounces that Spider Man, and I pronounce that Spiderman, as in the Spidermans from Long Island who import hats.

Many parents were there, occasionally pointing at the roaming, rolling tide of small children. A costumed Spider Man (Spiderman) and Bat Man (Batman, of the Hamptons) were there entertaining the kids, too.

"Who are those guys really?" someone asked me.

"Don't tell the kids this," I said. "But they're Peter Parker and Bruce Wayne."

Most people know that it's futile to ask me question I can use as a straight line. Others still haven't learned yet. They suffer for my art.

Then there was this pair of Harry Potter glasses. Someone requested that I put those suckers on, see if they fit:

"Yeah, I know why the fifth book of the series is late. I've been away, you see. After my fourth year at Hogwarts, well, I kinda used my magic powers to blow up the Dursleys. The fat little bastard was getting on my nerves, I just couldn't take it anymore. Then I set Draco Malfoy on fire, his whole gang, and most of those kids in Slytherin, too. So I was shipped off to Magician Reform School, having a rough time of it. I wish Ron Weasley would return my calls, man, because I've got a great idea for a business when I get outta here. And Grainger... oh man, chicks dig scars.

Bah. Voldemort was right. Screw 'em all. Once I get a second-hand wand and a spellbook, my ass is outta here."

And then there was the Spider Man disk shooter. I was about to reach for it and make a comment about speeding up Catholic Mass by using one of those for firing out wafers and a Super Soaker full of sacramental wine when I realized...

This is what Carrot Top does.

I hate Carrot Top.

Everybody hates Carrot Top.

I went back to drinking my Bud Light and didn't play with another toy for the rest of the evening, reminiscing to the earlier part of the evening where I noticed that I enjoyed Snickers Ice Cream Bars better than actual Snickers Bars.

But I don't hate Snickers Bars like I hate Carrot Top.

(If you understood all of that, then you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din. However, it doesn't mean you can't also participate in the Amish Tech Support Blog A Day Tour... go to Laurence Simon's weblog and volunteer your site today!)