And that, ladies and gentlemen, is our brush with greatness. Mr. Simon walks in, graces us with his presence for a brief moment, and then he's gone, leaving only his timeless prose and a faint smell of cologne behind. Give it up for Laurence Simon, ladies and gentlemen! Hooray!

I would like to add that I don't hate Carrot Top, but I do (generally) hate people that hate Carrot Top. Does that mean we now have to duel with plastic grocery store paranoia bars? I'm game, I suppose.